For two decades, struggles and bliss filled each day of my life.
The dawn of March 19, 1988 marked the beginning of all my treasured experiences, the start of my own adventure, my own fairy tale. As a child, I believed in fairy tales, true love, and a happy ended life. I always thought that I’m a princess that gave up her castle, kingdom and wealth to experience the real life. I deeply believed in that fantasy but not up to this moment of my existence. However, I am happy and contented that I experienced what real life has to offer to a lass- laughter or tears, or both.
When I reached the age of 18 I already considered myself an adult since I already learned that life may be enjoyed but there are consequences. As the youngest, I was spoiled by my family, but in school I learn that not everything is within my reach. During my elementary years I consider myself as the top of the batch but it all changed when I met more intelligent or seemingly intelligent people in highschool. However in college, I learned about the multiple intelligence of everyone and I also learned to appreciate those bright individuals found outside the classroom.
Starting from elementary I was trained to be a leader. But my trainings felt less if I would reminisce my term as the president of my organization in college. Even if I learned so much by everything that happened, I know that there are more things that should be learned and it would never end.
But now that more than two hundred months have passed after birth, I started to feel like I have not really grown or learned so much. Same errors, same mistakes, same problems are still to be faced. In one way or another, I feel that I am a bit ready.
I was raised in a province and in a family who are conservative. They never failed to remind me that I need to grow up or at least act properly with my age. Even if they see me as a child I claim that I am a woman by thought. I am a woman in the sense that I know my rights and I fight for it. This was most influenced by my mentors in the University. And with that, I can proudly express by worth as a woman.
A child, a feminist, a leader and a lot more are who I really am. However, there are times when I feel jerked by my own actions. This is the immature part of me that clings to my being more than before. Childish actions never separate itself to my name, femininity will always be my dream and awkwardness will always be a part of my feelings. Age or aging doesn’t really change a being- at least it applies for me.
For my friends, they always see me smiling and happy- I am. For my family they observe me as obedient and loving- I am. For my classmates they think that I am poised and unfriendly- I am. For strangers I am a no one- I am. For someone I am the one- I am. What you see is what you get.
One of the most influencing factors in my behavior is the place where I came from. As a Bikolana I am the type of a woman who might be perceived weak in the outside but in reality I am strong. I face challenges firmly rooted on the ground even if it entitles me to reach high. I also love almost everything that is “hot”- whether it is the food or in my type of men. 
I also have weaknesses but I use them as my strength.
Growing up in a place where God is the center of everything made my college life in UPLB a lot difficult because I had to accept the presence of deviating facts, unsatisfied questions and non-existing answers. A sudden change in my environment compliments the semi-stagnant life before. And this change helped me be a better person who can cope up with different situations.
Just like all the princesses portrayed in fairy tales, my family is the most important for me. My friends are the source of strength and the future keeps my hopes up. My mentors taught me abstract ideas but it’s still up to me how I could interpret them.
With many things that happened to me since 1988, I may not remember all of them but what happened to me is the reason why I look forward to the future. Each day that passed are my stepping-stone of who I will be in the future.
As many fairy tales, mine also has an end. The conclusion of my life is something that I am not looking forward to see. The pleasure of living fascinates me so much that ending it will only mean tragedy. But I am holding on to the idea that there will always be a reason for everything. I force myself to believe in it because it’s something inevitably true.
Everything can happen. Everything has a reason. Everything ends- even something as bitter sweet as my life.
